Caught At The Crossroads

Creatively speaking, I find myself in an interesting position these days. Prior to my studio being flooded out and the subsequent move to a temporary one, I was in the middle of several oil paintings: two from my Kabbalah series, several darker narrative works, and an Interludes painting. As I mentioned in my “Roll With The Changes” entry, I took some time away from working with oils in order to be more productive in my temporary studio. Now that I have returned to my original space, I am beginning to work again in oil paints, after a three month hiatus.

The gap in time has produced an unexpected result, however. During the break, I grew both creatively and technically as an artist. Consequently, my method and vision now are different than they were back in December. My challenge, therefore, is to reconcile this disparity so I can finish the work; a task that is easier said than done.

I have stood in front of my canvasses for the last week, attempting to maintain their integrity while adding my newfound knowledge to complete them. Development has been frustrating, to say the least. I feel like a sailor in the middle of the ocean who learns a better way of navigation requiring a change in course to arrive at the original destination. The result is a labored effort that begs the question, is it even worth it for me to complete the work? After so much change to counter and overcome my original ideas, I have concluded the answer, simply, is no. I am therefore resigned to complete only three of my works from 2008 while destroying the remainder of them so that I might preserve the stretcher bars and begin new ideas within the same dimensions on fresh canvas. I consider it a small set back necessary for the preservation of my sanity.